Because Erica and I are geeks….we came up with this recasting of the musical Chicago (we are using the movie as a base)

Velma Kelly — Lucy Lawless
Roxie Hart — Renee o’Connor
Fred Casely — Karl Urban (Caesar, Cupid)
Amos Hart — Ted Raimi (Joxer)
Billy Flynn — Bruce Campbell (we thought it should be Kevin Smith, but since he is dead….)
Mama Morton — Alexandra Tydings (Aphrodite)
Cell Block Tango Girls — Hudson Leick, Adrienne Wilkinson, Danielle Cormack, Jacqueline Kim, Willa O’Neill
Narrator — Kevin Sorbo

Those are the major characters anyway. Total geekiness.

I spent last week in Omaha for my younger sister’s wedding. Here are a few observations about the trip.

1. I don’t like road trips like I used to. The drive to Omaha from Hobbs — all 900+ miles of it — is excruciating. Add being sick to that and it is 1000 times worse.
2. Being in a big city with no spending money sucks. Especially when you are at a mall 3-4 times.
3. Dave & Buster’s RULES. If you are unfamiliar with the chain think Chuck E. Cheese for adults. The food was great and the arcade was awesome. It was, sadly enough, the highlight of the trip.
4. I now know that, in Nebraska, a landlord can give a tenant a 3-day notice to pay back rent. After the three days are up, the landlord has to sue for eviction. I was hoping my sisters landlord was able to carry through on her threat to change the locks on the 4th day so I could have her bitch ass arrested for theft. On the good side, Manda and Damon have a home until the end of the month.
5. We crossed the Missouri River 10 times on this trip. It is a wide, running river. I like to see big bodies of water even though I am often scared of the bridges that span them.
6. The scenery in Nebraska, Missouri and Iowa is beautiful to visit. I wouldn’t want to live there. I am a desert dweller. I like to be where the air is dry and the land in flat. My knees appreciate that much more.
7. Staph sucks. I am sick of the abscesses. I am sick of the pain and the sickness. Staph really sucks when you are 900+ miles away from your doctor.
8. Despite being sick and surly, I will do everything I possibly can to make sure things go well for my sister. I tried, quite disastrously, to make her the cake she wanted. I looked up tenant rights to help her with her bitch assed landlady. I worked myself into a sick tizzy trying to get music for her. I do love my sister.
9. I had the distinct honor and proud privilege of giving my sister away at her wedding along with our mom. While I joked that I had been trying to give her away for nearly 28 years, it was bittersweet. I was proud to fill that role, but it wasn’t a role I should have had to fill. That should have been our dad who died almost 12 years ago.
10. I am happy that Damon and my sister are moving to Lubbock. She will be closer and can come to family holidays. We won’t have to make the Omaha drive anymore. I am not sure which part of that is best that her and Damon will be able to be around more or we won’t have to drive to Omaha again. I will ponder that.

I don’t have a personal hatred of spiders. In most cases, I will catch a spider that is indoors and release it outdoors. Spiders eat bugs.

Up until about 3-4 years ago, I had never seen a black widow spider. I saw my first one in the driveway at my house. I flipped it over to look for the tell-tale red hourglass on the belly and then I killed it. Poison must die (as my friend Kelly put it).

Since then I have seen two more black widow spiders, within a month. They are scary spiders. And ugly. Maybe it is because I know they are poisonous and it would hurt like hell to be bitten by one. And maybe it is because of the thought (Erica and Heather, stop reading) of spiders have hundreds of babies at a time.

No deep thought in this, just sharing a story.

This week, in the news, has made me have the thought of how odd or how surreal more than once or made me wonder what some people are thinking.

1. I have never understood mothers who choose their criminal boyfriends over their children. This is not a new thought, just a renewed one with that missing little girl who was taken by her mother and her sex offender boyfriend. When the little girl was found, the mom made some comment about how she loved the sex-offender boyfriend and knew she would do anything for him. I don’t understand mothers who will put their children in danger for some man and when it comes down to a decision, they choose the man. What is up with that. I think (soapbox time) if for any reason your children are removed from your custody and it is not found to be a huge mistake, you are immediately sterilized so you can’t have any more children to endanger.

2. The reaction over Michael Jackson’s death is strange to me. While I had this sense of someone I knew had died, another part of me said, “You didn’t know Michael Jackson.” I am a fan of his music. His life outside that is of no concern to me. Yes he was creepy. He had an unnatural fondness for little boys. But he was a celebrity that I didn’t know personally. I am not going to miss Michael because I didn’t know him. He was not a friend, he was not a loved one. He was some famous guy who the whole world watched enter into an ultimately fatal downward spiral. I feel bad for him and his family for that because no one should have to go through that period, much less in the public eye. I feel bad for his kids. Having lost my father when he was still relatively young (Ironically, he was 50 as well when he died), I don’t wish that on any child. But, the part about Michael I love, is still available– his music.
I do not understand those everyday fan people who have cried because of this. Maybe it is because I do not deal with death that way, especially for a complete stranger.

3. I think it is odd that more people are concerned with the fact that the South Carolina governor had an affair than the fact that he just up and disappeared. I personally do not care who any politician is sleeping with. If it were our governor, I would be more concerned that the leader of the state just up and left and didn’t tell anyone he was leaving. That throws state government in an impending state of chaos. Forget who he was sleeping with, someone needed to know he was out of pocket.

Last night on National Geographic, I saw a repeat of an episode of “Locked Up Abroad.” It was the first episode I had seen of the show and the one that turned me on to watching it.

This episode dealt with two young American women who ended up in prison in Peru because they were caught smuggling nearly 20 lbs of uncut cocaine out of Peru and into America. How they got to the point of trying to smuggle nearly 20 lbs of uncut cocaine out of Peru is what leads me to ask if they were really that stupid or that naive.

The two women are offered an all expense paid vacation to Peru by a man neither knew particularly well. In exchange for this luxury vacation, the two are asked to bring something back — the cocaine.
One of the women in the show says the amount that was found in their luggage by Peruvian law enforcement was significantly more than they were told they would be bringing back. They spent 3 years in a Peruvian prison.

Here is my question: At what point is it ever a good idea to agree to smuggle drugs? Sure Peru seems like an interesting country and I would like to visit sometime, but I will pay for it myself. If my best friend in the world offered me a free trip to some foreign country in exchange for smuggling something back be it drugs, jewels or midget sex slaves, I would not only say no, I would say hell no. I certainly wouldn’t agree to it with someone I didn’t know all that well.

And this whole series is filled with stories like this. Another one featured a 22-year-old Texan who was caught smuggling heroin out of Bangladesh. The amount she was found with made her eligible for death. During her proceedings, she was continually asked if she was 18 or if she was really 22. It was asked in such a way that it seemed the judge was giving her an out. If she were 18, she would be free to go. She refused to lie. She was sentenced to 30 years in jail. She narrowly escaped the death penalty. It wasn’t until her case caught the attention of then Rep. Bill Richardson, D-N.M., who met with the president of Bangladesh on her behalf and secured her release. She spent 4 years in that prison.

Again, the whole free trip to a foreign country to bring back something is stupid. The people who say yes to that have to be either stupid themselves or incredibly naive to think they can pull it off. Most can’t as the series shows. Then when you are caught to not take the one out presented to you. That is dumb. I am all for honesty and I try to be honest in everything I do, but if I am facing life in a foreign prison where I have no rights or the death penalty, I will cheat, steal and lie to save my ass. I am certainly not gonna worry about principles over something as simple as age. If saying I am 18 would get me out of trouble, then by God, I am 18.

I just have to wonder what goes through people’s minds when they make certain decisions. Nothing is worth breaking the law to a point where I could face death, life in prison etc. And definitely not for a complete stranger.

Quick background: The America Family Association has been doing a series of broadcasts on their network about the censorship of Christians who preach, protest, etc. against homosexuality and the virulent often violent reactions they receive from some homosexual groups. The AFA took these broadcasts and boiled them down to an hour-long documentary called “Silencing the Christians.” They bought some airtime on some Michigan television stations to show the video.

Bring in the Human Rights Campaign. The group that fights for gay rights, showcases companies that provide benefits to gay couples, etc. The HRC sent out a frantic action alert calling on all supporters of gay rights and the LGBT community to write, e-mail and call the Michigan TV stations to get the show pulled, and it worked. The stations gave in and denied the freedom of speech and freedom of the press to the AFA that they had bought!

Here is my problem. The HRC encouraged everyone and succeeded in doing to the AFA the exact thing the documentary accuses homosexuals of. Don’t get me wrong. I totally disagree with the AFA’s stance on the issue of gay rights. However, as guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, the AFA has the absolute right to those hold those beliefs and to express them in a peaceful, non-slanderous manner. That includes producing a video and buying airtime to have it shown.

No one has the right to do anything to take that away from the AFA. The HRC also has the right to its beliefs, but in expressing those beliefs, they cannot take action to deny those same rights they fight for and would scream if they were denied, to others. It is wrong to compel a group of citizens of work to deny anyone their Constitutional rights.

If this same situation would have happened in reverse (and it has) all hell would have broken loose from the HRC.

These are the exact types of things conservative groups look to when demonizing the gay rights movement and homosexuals. In fact, in the documentary “Silencing the Christians,” looks to a book written by two gay men that talks about how to bring the public consciousness to support gay rights. The show quite convincingly showed how the gay rights movement is doing exactly what the book said should be done.

I suggest you watch the movie: http://www.silencingchristians.com. It is enlighting.

And if anyone from the HRC is reading this, you are being exactly what the Christians say you are.

<iframe width=”100%” height=”267″ scrolling=”no” frameborder=”0″ src=”http://8.17.170.183/egghunt/externalBasket.php?basket=149100669&key=22a1ca71c283883a7130739c5b269221″></iframe>

eHarmony caved. That is the only word I can think of — caved. Instead of taking their chances with a lawsuit and standing up for their rights as a private business to offer services to whomever they choose, eHarmony’s leaders caved and have decided to allow homosexuals the opportunity to sign up for and find matches on their site. Don’t get me wrong. This is not an anti-gay post. Seeing as I am dating a woman that would be hypocritical of me. This is a post about the rights of businesses to serve or not serve whomever they choose.

So here is some background. eHarmony was the subject of a lawsuit brought on by a gay man who was upset that he could not go onto the site and find true love. Granted there are many other dating sites online such as Yahoo! Personals, Match.Com, Chemistry.com, not to mention the scores of specifically gay and lesbian dating sites. Instead of facing a jury, eHarmony settled and will be creating ‘Compatible Partners’ a companion site to eHarmony for gays and lesbians. I think it is wrong that we live in a culture that we can force private businesses to do what we want through litigation or the threat of litigation.

If I run a business and decide not to provide my services to someone based on anything then I should have that right not too. Sure it may hurt my business, but that is my decision. Are all the gay dating sites going to start letting straight people put up their profiles and look for love? I doubt it, and I doubt it is an issue. There are dating sites for people of color, for Christians etc. There is even one for so-called beautiful people. What now? A lawsuit from an ugly person wanting to be on the beautiful people site? A Satanist suing to be able to be on the Christian site? I don’t see this as discriminatory. I see this as private business being run as such and serving a select clientele. That is their right. That should not be taken away.

Businesses need to stand up for themselves. Government needs to quit getting involved unless the business is violating laws and people need to put on their big girl panties and deal with it. If a business doesn’t want to serve you because you are gay, black, Atheist, short, tall, male, female, etc., take your business elsewhere. As Americans we have the freedom to patronize or not patronize a business for whatever reason. Use the power of dollars not the power of the courts. That is capitalism.

Hurricanes.

It’s officially hurricane season. Before the season even began we have already seen Tropical Storm Alma in the eastern Pacific and Tropical Storm Arthur in the Gulf of Mexico (actually these two storms made landfall in almost the same place in Central America).

I am a self-proclaimed weather nerd. My focus had always been on tornadoes and the severe storms that product them. I never paid much attention to hurricanes. That was until the 2005 hurricane season. It was then I realized that hurricanes are infinitely more fascinating weather occurrences than tornadoes. Don’t get me wrong, I still wanna chase storms in Oklahoma and Kansas, but I love studying hurricanes.

Here are some interesting things I have learned in reading about hurricanes of the past.

In 1995, Hurricane Ismael — a category 1 eastern Pacific storm — made landfall off the southern coast of Guatemala. The storm continued its path inland north eventually making its way to Hobbs, New Mexico (where I live for those who don’t know). For continental United States, when the remnants of Ismael dumped more than 8 inches of rain on Hobbs, it ranked 10th for the wettest hurricanes.

And on a personal Hurricane related note, in 1952, Hurricane Fox brought death and destruction to Cuba, Southeast Florida and the Bahamas. It caused $81 billion (2008 USD) in damage and killed 41 people. It made landfall in Cuba as a category 4 hurricane. Had it been part of the modern hurricane naming lists (at the time hurricanes were still named using the Joint Army/Navy phonetic alphabet), it would have been retired. Fox was the second strongest hurricane to make landfall on Cuba at the time.

Fast forward 49 years to the 2001 hurricane season. Hurricane Michelle made landfall as a category 4 hurricane on Cuba replacing Fox as the second strongest hurricane to make landfall on Cuba. It was the strongest storm to hit Cuba since Hurricane Fox. While it only caused $2.44 billion (2008 USD) worth of damage across Cuba, Florida, Bahamas, Cayman Islands, Jamaica, Honduras and Nicaragua and killed 17 people directly, Michelle was retired and will never be a Hurricane again.

Maybe in 2013, Hurricane Andrea will form and follow a similar path as Fox and Michelle and be retired. While I do not want people to die or lose property, that would be cool.

I am a bad global citizen I guess, but in the face of gasoline prices in my town nearing $4 a gallon (and I freakin’ live where they make gasoline) and prices around the country and world spiking (except in the Middle East of course where they are enjoying gas prices at just at or less than $1 a gallon). I just can’t bring myself to care about moose in Alaska at ANWAR or ocean life in the Gulf of Mexico or any other environmental concerns in places where oil could be drilled for. Of course in the United States this would not help us since we haven’t built a new oil refinery since the 70s.

I also think if president Bush hadn’t completely alienated all the major oil producing countries in the world we might not be having such a problem (I understand supply and demand issues and how Katrina fucked things up and all that).

So here are my ideas. Some are a little radical, some are not quick solutions.

1. Environmentalist need to shut the hell up for a while. While I agree we need to work to find alternative fuels and what not, right now, we need more oil to refine and all that.  New drilling is not a quick fix.

2. We need to build more refineries here. Again not a quick fix.

3. We need to give financial incentives to OPEC to produce more oil. If we pulled out of Iraq because that is gonna go on forever costing us billions upon billions of dollars. That money could be shifted to subsidizing OPEC while we build more refineries and start more drilling.

4. This is my radical solution. Turn the Middle East into a parking lot and go in and drill. (Nothing against the people there)